Assumptions About Given Names

There are many issues surrounding surnames and their variations when doing genealogy, but we can also encounter a lot of assumptions about given names, or first names.

To arrange for my dad’s footstone from the VA, I had to provide a few documents to verify his service in the US Army. One of these documents was the DD 214. On this document my dad’s name was listed as Lawrence John Brill. Let me say, this was all kinds of wrong…

For most of my dad’s adult life he dealt with the effect of one mistake that was made when he enlisted in the Army. His given name was always Larry. It had never been Lawrence, or Laurence, or any other variation. His parents named him Larry and, importantly, it’s what his birth certificate says. When he enlisted, and he saw that his name had been recorded as Lawrence, he immediately spoke up. He said, “my name is Larry, Sir, not Lawrence…” The reply?: “well, from now on it’s Lawrence!” Such is the US Army…? From then on he became Lawrence on any official documents impacted by his US military records. This turned out to be rather far-reaching (even hospice initially had him listed as Lawrence in the months before his death). Other errors on the DD 214, by the way, were his middle name, and even his eye color.

Getting names wrong, and getting them right

I bring this up as an example of how easy it is to get names wrong, even just given names, and to express that it can be a persistent (and persistently annoying) issue. My dad didn’t enjoy correcting people on this, but he did want them to know his actual name. I mean, of course! We all hope others get our given names right! My husband and I helped him get it corrected at the VA about fifteen years ago. It took all day, being passed from one person to the next, filling out one form after another. Despite that correction, it’s difficult to have information adjusted across many offices, institutions, and applications – he remained “Lawrence” in many settings.

Our names are important

My own name was given very deliberately as Nellie at birth, and yet I have heard countless times throughout my life that I “must” have actually been named Eleanor, or Elaine, or Helen, or something, but certainly not simply Nellie. Complete strangers I have just met will argue over what my name must be, often shaking their heads with a patronizing smile, ignoring the rather obvious fact that I would know my own name, and the story behind my naming. But, I am and always have been, simply Nellie, and this is what my birth certificate says.

My parents named me for my great-grandmother – my father’s paternal grandmother, who also was reportedly always Nellie from birth… My father was close to his grandmother. He and the family have always asserted that her name was only ever Nellie (middle name Love); it was something she was adamant about. Just as for my father and myself, her given name was important to her, and it was important to her that others respect that. Like for me, her name was not Eleanor, or Elaine, or Helen, it was simply Nellie. Yet, in most of the family trees I have seen that include her, her name is recorded as Eleanor or Eleanore, with Nellie in parentheses.

I am open to seeing documentation where she may have been officially listed as anything but Nellie at birth, but so far, I have seen nothing to support any other name. In fact, I have continued to only see evidence to the contrary. And thus, I continue to honor her known, expressed wishes.

It’s easy

It is easy for us to make assumptions. About anything really, but especially when something fits a common pattern or an expected standard. In many cases the name Larry is a diminutive, as is Nellie. It is common, and expected, but clearly that doesn’t make it accurate. And as for the DD 214, this is a document that one could justifiably assume to be accurate. It easily demonstrates that a lone document does not guarantee accuracy.

Assumptions vs. accuracy

So how important is accuracy? How important is respect? These are questions that each of us answers in our own genealogical research, of course, by what we decide to do with the information we have. I have made my own mistakes, and I have penciled in tentative information I am not completely sure of. There can be an impatience in wishing to build out a tree. I try to minimize mistakes, and of course strive to correct any as soon as I can – hopefully most do – and in recording someone in our tree who lived a hundred or two years ago, it could be very difficult to know their true given name at birth, or their preferred name through adulthood. When a name is in a language other than our own it becomes even more difficult to be sure what a person was called, or how their name was spelled.

This personal experience with given names definitely reminds me to question assumptions and not simply accept them, no matter how “safe,” and to seek to determine the most accurate and preferred names of my ancestors.

I consider myself still a learner, so I’d love to hear others’ thoughts, insights, and experiences on approaching or dealing with this issue!

Thanks for reading,
~ Nellie

Image: my dad Larry and great-grandmother Nellie Love, 1945.